Well...we got my Father-in-law moved to his new home this morning. Things went much better than what I thought they would.
I went in my car, ahead of Sam and his dad. I got to the Memory Care Center earlier, in order to take his pillows and blankets that he is used to sleeping with. I wanted to make sure that his TV was turned on, and set to his favorite channel.
His house sitter and her daughter met me there and helped me to get the blankets on the bed and, to make sure we had all of the goodies that he likes to snack on out where they would be visible to him.
Gosh....it is so hard to say "No, this is your new home right now."
One more picture of him and Lola. Lola helped my Mother-in-law for several years before my MIL passed away last September. She has since been helping us take care of Sam's dad. Poppie (what the grandkids call him) was so excited to see Lola there.
The memory care center advised us to not come visit for a couple of days to allow him time to adjust. Geez Louise.....this is hard to do. However, it is nice to know that he is where he needs to be.....where he can be cared for the way he needs to be taken care of.
I remember the sad feelings that Sam and his brother are feeling today. I know those feelings all too well. It was very difficult for me to leave my dad at a memory care facility.
For me, leaving my dad there was absolutely heart wrenching. Not only is this a sad time, but you feel guilty and you feel helpless. And then....the doubts start talking to you...!!
"Am I doing what is right?" "Is this the best place?" "Will they take care of my loved one?"
This kind of separation feels like a loss in itself, and the emotional weight is so heavy. The experience is overwhelming.
There is a Good list of positives and it is important to look at them. Here is what I see....
1. Specialized Care.
2. Safety and Security.
3. Social Interaction.
4. 24/7 Support
5. Structure and Routine
6. Immediate access to medical care
7. Enhanced quality of life.
These are the things that helped me to understand that although there is a transitioning period, I found solace in knowing that my brothers and I were doing what was best for my dad.
I want to say thank you to all of you who have sent me messages and have lifted our family up in prayer. These prayers have meant so much.
Shug....
I remember when we had to do this. It worked out great and my FIL really enjoyed his time there.
ReplyDeleteHe looks like a really sweet man. You are doing the right thing. But it is hard and very emotional. It looks like a very nice place. I’ll keep you in my prayers as you and your husband transition as well.
I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. When I left my mom I thought I'd die myself and I felt so guilty - even though it was the best thing. Does he have a bed in his room and two lazy boys? That is a nice room. I am sorry that your family is having to go through this. Hugs and prayers. It will be okay.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet smile Sam's dad has! Yes, Shug, you have done the right thing for him, especially since he needs round the clock care. The only way my father could stay home when he had Alzeimer's was because they had in home care for him 24/7 (Mom was still living). I pray this place will bless this precious man.
ReplyDeleteSending thoughts of comfort and love.....and a hug.
ReplyDelete~Sheri
You made a wise choice. Looking back I wish that I had been able to do that with my mom but she wanted to stay in her home and I promised her that I would make sure that happened. It had it's toll though on me and other family members.
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