Steps of Faith

Steps of Faith

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Bullying...... goes!  I am going to be talking about something today that is really becoming a BIG problem, and it's happening right in front of our eyes.

 "IT" just so happens to be "Bullying!"

What is a Bully?  Big question.  
A bully is a person who thrives on purposely hurting or degrading others.  And, it doesn't just happen once or ever once in a while....It usually happens often, and it happens over and over again.

A bully usually has a support system made up of other kids that are longing to fit into a certain social group.  They will even go as far as to assist "The" Bully in the taunting of those that the Bully is out to get.

There are four kinds of Bullying...(as I see it)

1)  Verbal bullying - which includes harassing, calling names, rumors, degrading of a person, recognizing a persons weakness and taunting them with threats of telling others about their weakness.  It is like a big time rush to the bully to see their victim hurt.
2)  Physical Bullying - pushing, shoving, hitting, punching, knocking them down, destroying others property.
3)  Cyber Bullying -the posting of degrading words and comments as well as posting unfavorable pictures of a person on emails or face book where everyone can see....
4) Mental Bullying -  Causing a low self-esteem to develop in the one being bullied and causing much fear, to the point that the victim no longer wants to attend school.

Here is the sad thing.........Most of the time, a bully can dial up the charm when an adult is around or when they are in the presence of those in authority...and by doing so, they are able to keep their secret and maintain a "great kid" image.

I think we would all be surprised to find that a lot of bullies are kids whose parents are very well respected in the community.  It is not at all unusual for a bully to be a "Popular" kid who has developed an easy path to a social life through the demands that he/she places upon their friend/followers.

The bully loves the attention they get and they begin to feel very powerful when they see that others are willing to do whatever the bully ask them to do.   Being a "jock" is at the top of the list when it comes to being a bully.  I am certainly not implying that all jocks (enthusiastic athletes) are bullies.  This is not at all the case.......As a matter of fact, we have many young Christian men and women that play sports and are involved in Christian organizations, who would never think of doing such.  Let me be first to say that I am so very proud  that we do have so many athletes that love the Lord and they let it  show in their everyday life. 

You know.....every bully has a family, and I have just have to wonder what really happens within that family.  Is there a lack of supervision within the family?  Does this child get his/her own way at home?  Do they make rude comments to their parents?  Are they allowed to describe their friends as "fat, ugly, dumb, wimp, creep, etc...." with no correction from their parents?

A bully lacks empathy for others and they have a need to be in control of things.  Is this perhaps what they are taught at home?

Sometimes parents are unwilling to recognize that their child carries the behaviors of a BULLY.  These are usually parents who see  NO wrong in the things their kids do..... 

In some cases, this can become a some what sticky situation....What if the kid that is bullying your child belongs to some of your best friends?  What if there is a "street smart" bully that has a way of making everyone believe that he/she is an excellent student and even if you did choose to go up against the situation, no one would believe YOU?  Kinda like...No, not that kid...he/she is an excellent example in everything he/she does!

This really bothers me.....
I do believe that in our schools, our teachers and staff do an excellent job of being on guard and watching for these kind of behaviors....however, it's not likely that a bully is going to come right out and let their true identity be seen....They are smart enough to wait until the doors are closed or until no one is in sight, other than those who are following them and of course....their victim!

I do believe that parents of some of these kids, are so caught up in making sure that their child is number one, that they themselves become blind and only have the vision of seeing the popularity that they want so much for their kids to have.

This is sad, and I have to ask myself.....What can be done???   As we age, we gain wisdom!
I can assure you that if a problem like this were to arise with any of our six grandchildren, I would be on it like stink on cow poop!!    I don't mean this in a mean way...and as a Christian, I would try my best to deal with the situation in a Christ like manner.  However, sometimes we do have situations that call for a much firmer stand...

Remember....I am only expressing my own thoughts here, but I do believe that all parents should be very well educated in the daily activities of their children....Be aware of what is going on with your child...Watch their behaviors, and determine if there are any changes in their conduct.  Be involved in their social activities and be aware of who those they are hanging out with...
These suggestions might just help you to determine if your child is being bullied or is indeed a bully themselves!

I'm no expert here....and it is not my intention to judge, but I do believe that I can tell a bully when I see one.

With five grandchildren in school and one in pre-school....I want to make sure that they do not fall victim to such cruel actions.....

When it comes to our children, hesitation is not an option...We must be willing to confront the adults that are responsible for the child whose conduct is unacceptable.

Bullying is a big problem and it breaks my heart to think that there are kids out there that fall victim to this kind of thing....We need to keep our eyes opened and be willing to stand up to such happenings....

I have no particular reasons for writing on this subject....I just feel that this is something that we all need to be aware of......

If my message can help one child....then it is well worth taking the time to write about it...

                                      ~ ~ ~ ~

On a different note:  Sweetheart day is just around the corner.
Do you have anything special planned?

Have a wonderful day....
shug ~


Mary said...

This really is becoming a problem. Thank you for calling our attention to it. I hope you have a great day. Blessings...Mary

camp and cottage living said...

Great post! I hope it will encourage anyone whose loved ones may be bullyed to take action.
I haven't even thought of Valentine's Day yet. I'd better get on the stick!

Anonymous said...

such a wonderful post, gosh I dislike a bully,, I haven't really thought of Valentine's Day either,,

Terra said...

This post may well help someone, and it is good to keep your eyes open to spot a problem and deal with it right away!

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

This is a very serious issue and I'm afraid it is easier to recognize that to eradicate. Good post, Shug. blessings ~ tanna

Betsy from Tennessee said...

I can tell how passionate you are about this horrible problem. Bullying is definitely a problem --and I just read this week about a young teen who killed herself because she had been bullied... So sad..... And I've heard that girls are worse than boys these days... I wish schools and parents would get more involved with this problem... People seem to ignore it too much.

I raised 3 sons and this was not a problem back then... I think much of the problem these days comes from the home life --or lack of it. Kids are being raised with no boundaries, no rules, no respect, etc... Scary!

I'm glad you are working on this problem. Something needs to be done.

We will be 'waterfalling' on Sweetheart's Day.

Debbie said...

"I do believe that parents of some of these kids, are so caught up in making sure that their child is number one, that they themselves become blind and only have the vision of seeing the popularity that they want so much for their kids to have."

This part said a mouthful. I think adoration of children in the place of LOVE is the cause for many ills in our culture today. There's a big difference.

And this, my blog friend, was a wonderful post.

Chatty Crone said...

Well I will tell you this - it is very hard for some one who is bullied to go tell someone.

Why - because they are not believed a lot of times. Bullying is a big deal and requires a lot work. It's easier to disprove the person bullied.

I speak with experience this week!


Linda said...

Thanks to Pam, I found your blog. Bulling is a very serious problem; thanks for blogging about it! I just signed up to follow your blog and can't wait to read your other posts!

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