Steps of Faith

Steps of Faith

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Grief does not magically end after the death of a parent, a loved one or a friend.   I have no idea what causes feelings of grief to return on certain days or on the anniversary date of a loved ones death....but I do believe that it is a normal feeling for us as people.  

It's not sympathy that I'm looking for.....and I don't believe that sympathy even crosses the mind of others who experience delayed reactions to a death. There are many people, including myself who hold strong emotional depths of love in their heart.  

The anniversary date of my Dad's death is coming up this next week.  While I know that he is now in heaven.....and is no longer suffering from alzheimer's and a stroke that left him unable to swallow.....I also know that my heart hurts.   

The truth is....for some of us....we need a much longer time to grieve.    Hey....I know a good bit about grieving....I've experienced grief many times.  My sister passed away at an early age.   She was 28.
Her son (my nephew) also passed away at an early age.  He was only 28 years old.   My mom was only 72 and my dad was 86.  

Who wants to look as if they are dysfunctional?  Not me....I prefer for others to see me as a person who has it all together...A person who is strong and in control.  And for this exact reason, I never allow myself to fully grieve the death of a loved one...the way my emotional heart needs to grieve.   Instead, I try to be normal like everyone else around me.   

However.....the normal person does not feel what I feel.   They did not love the person I am grieving over, the way I did.   So....why do I want to be like the normal person?  It's called fear of others thinking I am crazy.  

I have even heard people say that Christians do not have to go through deep grieving experiences, because they know that their loved ones are with the Lord and that we should all be rejoicing in their home-going.  

I understand the point that these people are trying to make.....but my breaking heart does not understand.

My dad passed away on Jan. 23rd, 2017.....I watched him breathe his last breath.   Being there, in the room, holding a loved ones hand when they take their last breath, is a very profound experience.   

This is not an experience that is easily wiped from your memory.   This is why I know that it is alright for me to have the feelings that I have!!!   Others around me may not understand when I cry....over a death that happened an ENTIRE YEAR AGO, but for me that entire year ago was just like YESTERDAY.

My point in writing this post is to encourage others to let their emotions be free.   Don't bottle things is OK to cry!

It's ok to cry any time that you feel like crying.  It is definitely alright to be preoccupied with the wonderful memories of your loved one.  

What is a memory?   It is something remembered from the past!  What is the past?  There is no time frame on your past.   Wonderful memories are gifts from God.

I intend to experience these wonderful memories of my loved ones, over and over again.   If they bring me tears, then I welcome each and every tear.

Blessing to all of you...


Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Oh Dear me, Y'all.....

I have been waiting for YEARS .....for it to snow in Chandler Texas.    And guess what?  It snowed last night!!!

Trey having fun on the 4 wheeler.....

A little trampoline jumping in the snow...

Broad Street in Chandler.....

Trey and Mylee Jo.....having fun....

Bella and Diamond....staying inside where it is warm....

Tucker and Emily...enjoying the snow day...

Here is the sad thing.......   I MISSED ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!


Sam and I left on our trip before all of this hit and so we missed all of the snow and ice.  While I'm happy that we didn't have to drive in this mess....I am sad that I didn't get to play with my kiddos in the snow!!!  

Maybe next year!!!  :(    :(


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Yes....My Grandkids Rock

Yes....My Grandkids Rock