Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Lesson learned......don't pre-judge!!

I've been sitting here for over an hour, with my laptop open....and yet, I just seem to be staring into space. 

I either have brain fog....Or....a way too tired mind.  I'm not even interested in checking out Facebook tonight.   Perhaps, it's the weather?! 

The wind has really been blowing today and it's cold outside!  All I want to do is curl up on the sofa.....and watch TV.   Oh no.....I just realized that this is the exact thing that I did all of last week!     The verdict is:   I've become LAZY!

I did gather up enough energy to go see my dad today!!  I try to go everyday, with the exception of last week.....when I could barely walk.   

You know.......for the past year or so......I have fought with all my being, NOT to put my dad in the very Memory Care facility that he is in at this time!!   

The reason?  Because I did not think it was good enough!!  

I'm just being honest here!!  It's an older facility and when my brother and I first visited this site.....I  was the one who said:   NO WAY!   I'm guessing that I had something much more prestigious in mind.   Why?  Because I wanted the very BEST for my dad!  

Let me tell you about a lesson that I have learned...... Stay with me here!!!!

My dad was in the hospital for 14 days and then he was released to a Nursing Home.    It was a New Place with a lot of up-to-date equipment.   Dad was there for about three weeks, before we got a phone call saying that the director felt that dad needed to be in a complete memory care unit.

I was almost devastated......    Private pay care in our area can be very costly!!!!  $5,000 or more per month!!!!

What to do?    We only had two choices.......One was to bring dad home and try once again to take care of him.....OR.....move him to the Nursing Home that I had fought sending him to.

My brother took care of getting dad's things moved....(because this all took place last week when I was so sick)


At the first "newer" and more updated place......I had to make his bed (myself) almost every time I went.    There were several days when he would be wearing the same clothes that he had on the day before and the day before!     There were numerous times when I would have to clean his face because he had dried food on it.

There were several days when I would go in the early mornings and dad would still be in bed with his pants, belt, and snap up shirt on.  In other words......he slept in them all night long.  

Dad had so much anxiety, and there were several times when he would not get the medicine he needed {ON TIME} to prevent the stressful anxiety from becoming worse and making him upset and start shaking.

Since he has been moved..........

I have been over every single day,  to see my dad.......sometimes, twice a day.....and can I tell you, that he is receiving STAR treatment!  

Not once have I  visited, that he was dirty or in need of his clothes being changed.    At night, they make sure he gets a shower and that he has on his pajamas.   In the mornings....they get him up and put clean clothes on him.   

His hair has already been trimmed and it is combed every single day.......they also shave him every morning and they dash on his after shave that he has always loved.

Not once have I had to make his bed!!!!!  It is always made and the bed coverings are always changed.   His room is neat and very clean, and his dirty clothes are in the hamper.

  Dad is content and he looks happy.   !!!!!!   I've not witnessed one single anxiety attack since being there.

What I have learned is:   God knows what is Best!   I have spent many hours, praying for God's will......but yet, I was fighting it.

   It has taken me a while to realize that in life......things are not always what they seem!!   In the same way that a person can be BEAUTIFUL on the outside and very uncaring on the inside..........So can the things of life be!!    A building is just a building.   It can be beautiful on the outside..... but if the people on the inside are not loving.....then what do we gain???

Don't pre-judge the worth of something by it's outward appearance.    

My dad is now being taken care of by loving, caring people who are making a difference in his life!!  It's not the "BEST" in town.....but it is what is BEST for my dad!

Shug.......











6 comments:

  1. I see now why you just want to lay around on the couch. You are not lazy, you have been under a terrific amount of stress. That is cause for exhaustion. This is so wonderful, and now you can finally have some long needed peace. What wonderful news.

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  2. I see now why you just want to lay around on the couch. you are not lazy, you have been under a terrific amount of stress. That is cause for exhaustion. This is so wonderful, and now you can finally have some long needed peace.

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  3. Shug, I have missed so much! You being sick, your dad being moved. So glad you have such strong family support by your side. And of course, our Loving Father, who looks after all his children. Don't be too hard on yourself for rejecting the nursing home. I probably would've done the same! You're right that a building is just a building; it's the people inside giving the care that make all the difference. I'm so glad your dad is blessed with caring people who are seeing to his needs and keeping him clean.

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  4. You shared an important lesson here; God had a plan and you resisted it, and when your dad was moved to the place you resisted, it turned out to be the ideal place for him. Now you can concentrate on being well and getting your energy back, dear friend.

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  5. Oh, how patient HE is in giving us our lessons. This is a great post, Shug. So much truth. I am so thankful your Dad is in a place he is comfortable and calm. That is such a blessing.

    I'm blaming this COLD for slowing us down... though I've been hard at bookwork. Arghhhh. I'm ready to get out and about... but, the 19 on the thermometer this morning is taking some of the fun out of that!

    YOU were sick. That's plenty of reason so be slowed down. Take it easy on yourself. blessings ~ tanna

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  6. I am so happy to hear that your Dad is well taken care off. I know the concern of a paren not receiving the care they need.Perhaps now you will be able to relax and just enjoy your visits with him.May God give you peace and joy.

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